I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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