Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I checked into jail on foursquare
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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