I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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