I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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