I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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