he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I won't apologize to a one balled man
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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