I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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