out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
pray to the hookup gods
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
