College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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