i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Randomize
