So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You are the jesus of drinking
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
