I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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