question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
