i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
