If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
