Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
