I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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