I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
