So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
