I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
