Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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