so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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