and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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