i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
