i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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