I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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