So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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