i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
