His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
send nudes
from the living room?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
