We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
