His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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