All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
