she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
