What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He felt like a one man threesome
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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