i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
