Christians are straight up FREAKS
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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