It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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