Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
