2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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