Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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