You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
