I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
