I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I don't think brook has ever known best
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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