Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
