He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
