Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
