Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
babies were throwing up all over the place
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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