what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
