Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
