Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
