Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
