We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
