weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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