I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
